There are some good articles circulating right now about how young girls are depicting themselves in (online) society and what this means for feminism. Some believe that the up and coming generation is causing a regression for women because they portray themselves, willingly, as sexualized objects through "selfies" including cleavage, pouty lips, and suggestive poses. Others believe that feminism is about a woman's right to act in whatever way she chooses, and that may especially mean going against what is considered polite in society. I suppose every generation is bound to be shocked and ticked off at the ones who fill their former teenage shoes. Elvis appalled our great-grandparents, the Summer of Love made our grandparents feel faint, Britney, Christina, and other midriff-baring, undulating pop stars made our parents grimace. Is it only normal, then, that I should feel distaste every time I see a duck-lipped girl posing in her bathroom?
There is something to be said for each generation pushing societal boundaries, and that being partially what urges a culture onward to explore new ways of being and struggle with new questions. I'm not advocating for stagnation or censorship by any means. What I will say, however, is that things have changed with the proliferation of the internet. This, too, is a well-worn statement. What I have noticed is that, as Andy Warhol predicted, everyone can be famous for fifteen minutes. Without a publishing company, modeling agency, talent manager, or lawyer to act as a barrier and image guardian between us and the public, we must be more aware of how we are portraying ourselves. When I was growing up, the internet was a great way to chat with my friends and do some spotty research for school work. Now, with social media, it has become a way to share information with friends (and their friends, and stalkers, and future spouses, and future employers) through a carefully-crafted image maker.
Social media asks, "who are you?" and with an awareness of who we want our audience to be, we answer. I was a teenage girl once. I understand how different the inside of you can feel from the outside of you and how if only people knew what you really had to offer, things could be better. Some girls very much want a boyfriend, and so it is as if social media serves as an interview for admirers. The selfies show what they can really look like. The Twitter fights show that they are tough. The words they use show that they aren't just the goody two shoes you might see in school. The problem with this is not that young people are making bold decisions and using those words as every generation before them has done. The problem is not that they are "just being themselves," but that they are attempting to be some version of themselves that they think someone else wants. They are growing up not just trying on personalities as every teenager has done, but they are basing some of their actions on how it will look on social media and who it might attract.
To some extent, this is the same old rebellion and self-exploration in new packaging. People base lots of their decisions on what other people think all the time. Should I buy this outfit? Will he like it? This makeup? What if I say I have a better job than I actually do? If I make friends with her, will that get me in? The difference with social media is where and how this processing takes place. Instead of trying on that personality, walking around in it, feeling those feelings, and then making decisions based on that, there is a backwards mechanism. People think about their social media persona as the "Greatest Hits" in order to make their life seem as though it is more fabulous than in reality. As they go about their day, they think in terms of status updates, tweets, and find ways to take pictures of themselves that support this image. They make decisions based on how it will look online instead of how it will feel in real life. Sometimes, when these actions do bounce back into the real world, the emotions and consequences connected to them can be a shock.
If girls are creating sexualized images of themselves for what they hope will be best-case scenario admirers, what happens when that is not the outcome? When both boys and girls label them with not-so-nice words, when friends' parents will no longer allow them to come over, when the images are downloaded and uploaded and altered and pop up on their phones during class, how does that affect them? Sexuality can be seen as either power or vulnerability. When young girls attempt to use it without fully understanding its implications and far-reaching effects, it is doubtful that they will feel like they're on the cover of Rolling Stone. But what can we do? It is what our parents were afraid of when the pop stars of the 80s and 90s began, as my mother used to say, "dancing like snakes." They wanted to protect us from growing up too fast, from only identifying femininity with sexuality. That is, for me, the root of the problem.
Women are incredibly diverse creatures. Dove may be lauded for their "True Beauty" campaign that demonstrates women with real bodies, but at the end of the day, it's still women in underwear. How many times does a young girl need to see a scantily-clad lady before that is what she associates herself with? The problem with advocating for the Miley Cyruses in the world of feminism is not that it is wrong to be self-sexualized, but that it is going back to a very narrow view of womanhood. I might say that of course, no one is going to take away our right to wear pants anytime soon, but that is only because they've taken away clothing in general! In this social media-crazy, Pinterest-obsessed, viral video world, we see a build up of images everyday that shapes the way that we think and certainly shapes the way that young women understand their world. Naked women posed just-so to be allowed on album covers. Pole dancing fitness classes. The blasted duck lips sweeping the nation. These are not things that offend me (apart from the duck lips) or belie feminism itself. The ever-present media machine that chooses these images to be shown over and over again, however, will. When all we see or explore in women is their ability to be sexual, that is what will chip away at our progress and the shaping of our young girls.
As I said, I grew up when the internet was still a fairly tame place with weird chat rooms and slow telephone line speeds. I liked chatting with my friends, but I didn't think about my image online. I didn't have to. Today's girls think a lot about their image online, but it is the way they have been conditioned to think about it that worries me. I also credit much more than the different internet usage back in my day for my upbringing. My mother demonstrated every day what a strong woman was. She had honest conversations with me and didn't attempt to censor my world. She gave me many opportunities to focus on myself - building my true self, that is - through an excellent education, art supplies, and horseback riding lessons. I remember her once talking with a fellow riding mom about how good this was for their girls - that they would have horses instead of boyfriends. Looking back, I have to agree. I hope that I have the opportunity to take away my future daughter's probably tiny and advanced computer cell phone transporter, and set her up with something real. I hope that she will know the feeling of teamwork, overcoming obstacles through hard work, responsibility, and the glorious feeling of a clean animal's warm muscles after two hours of labor. While parents can't protect their kids from the world and mistakes forever, I do believe that they can encourage them to focus on building themselves before they worry about what someone else might want them to be.
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